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Excerpts from
a Dog's Daily Diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00
pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm
- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!
My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping
on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet.
I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration
of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'
I must learn what this means and
how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.
For now................